Ever since I can remember my family has had what we call “The Candy Drawer.” What is “The Candy Drawer” you ask. Well, in order to really explain you first need to know something about the family I grew up in. You see, we are all big pigs. Okay, okay, don’t get in your minds the image of a bunch of 600 pound people with fried chicken stuck in their fat rolls sitting around watching Judge Judy all day and sucking off the welfare system while you are at work…we aren’t that bad. We probably aren’t even obese or anything, but we like food (particularly candy and sweets) just like most Mormons do. No coffee, no tea, no alcohol, no cigs…but they didn’t say no SUGAR, although I’m sure the “everything in moderation” part should cover that one. Mormons don’t have the luxury of having other addictions so we like candy.
So treats don’t really last too long around my parents’ house. At least not the good treats. And that is where the candy drawer comes in. The candy drawer is a small corner drawer in my parents’ kitchen. It could just as well be called the reject candy drawer as it very rarely has anything good in it…at least not for long. Growing up usually the candy drawer contained things like: banana flavored Laffy Taffy, grape Jolly Ranchers, sunflower seeds, broken candy canes from last Christmas, Hershey’s Special Dark chocolate (you know from those mixed bags of Hershey’s chocolates), etc. You get the idea…basically only candy you’d eat when you are desperate.
And that’s usually what happened. There would be a stash of this normally undesirable candy that would build up. But then something would change…usually it would be during a big snowstorm when we couldn’t get to the store, or a Fast Sunday when our blood sugar was all out of whack and all of a sudden that banana flavored Laffy Taffy didn’t look so horrible and it would get eaten.
And this was how it always was with the candy drawer…mediocre candy getting eaten in times of desperation and sugar shortage. But then something changed…my little brother got married and all of a sudden we had a new person in the mix. And my new sister-in-law loved dark chocolate. So that dark chocolate that in the past built up in the drawer only to be eaten in times of famine didn’t build up anymore. And things that my sister-in-law didn’t necessarily prefer would get thrown into the drawer. It was sort of weird at first. We all didn’t know what to think and did not even realize what was going on at first. I remember thinking, ‘Where is all that yucky dark chocolate and who in the heck was crazy enough to throw this Chick-O-Stick into the candy drawer?’
And then I realized…someone with new tastes came along and the whole balance of what the candy drawer had been for years changed.
So treats don’t really last too long around my parents’ house. At least not the good treats. And that is where the candy drawer comes in. The candy drawer is a small corner drawer in my parents’ kitchen. It could just as well be called the reject candy drawer as it very rarely has anything good in it…at least not for long. Growing up usually the candy drawer contained things like: banana flavored Laffy Taffy, grape Jolly Ranchers, sunflower seeds, broken candy canes from last Christmas, Hershey’s Special Dark chocolate (you know from those mixed bags of Hershey’s chocolates), etc. You get the idea…basically only candy you’d eat when you are desperate.
And that’s usually what happened. There would be a stash of this normally undesirable candy that would build up. But then something would change…usually it would be during a big snowstorm when we couldn’t get to the store, or a Fast Sunday when our blood sugar was all out of whack and all of a sudden that banana flavored Laffy Taffy didn’t look so horrible and it would get eaten.
And this was how it always was with the candy drawer…mediocre candy getting eaten in times of desperation and sugar shortage. But then something changed…my little brother got married and all of a sudden we had a new person in the mix. And my new sister-in-law loved dark chocolate. So that dark chocolate that in the past built up in the drawer only to be eaten in times of famine didn’t build up anymore. And things that my sister-in-law didn’t necessarily prefer would get thrown into the drawer. It was sort of weird at first. We all didn’t know what to think and did not even realize what was going on at first. I remember thinking, ‘Where is all that yucky dark chocolate and who in the heck was crazy enough to throw this Chick-O-Stick into the candy drawer?’
And then I realized…someone with new tastes came along and the whole balance of what the candy drawer had been for years changed.
Well, here’s the tie in. I started thinking about that candy drawer a little differently when my sister-in-law came along and I started to get all deep and compare the reject candy drawer to myself, feeling like a reject Mormon, a left-over, a banana Laffy Taffy if you know what I mean. And then I thought to myself, ‘I don’t want to get taken out of the reject drawer on a day of desperation…a snowstorm or Fast Sunday. I don’t want to just have a guy like me because they are sick of looking, sick of people bugging them about not being married, or have finally realized that something better just isn’t going to come along. I don’t want to be taken out of the drawer just to fill some guy’s need for a short term sugar fix…only to be forgotten about as soon as a better treat comes along.’
Instead, here is what I want. I want someone new to come into my candy drawer ecosystem, open the drawer and see that banana flavored Laffy Taffy and say to themselves… ‘WOW. These are my FAVORITE! How did this get left in here? What dummy would leave a banana Laffy Taffy in the candy drawer? I’m so glad my favorite candy is in this candy drawer…what a lucky guy I am!’
This post doesn’t contain any major advice or help on being a single woman…other than…let’s keep believing that someday, sometime, hopefully, the right guy is going to come along, open up that left-over candy drawer and be ecstatic that you are still there. And that may only happen after hundreds of other guys open up that drawer, see you and say to themselves, “YUCK, that’s not my favorite, I’ll keep looking.” But who cares about those guys anyway? All we need to worry about is keeping ourselves ready and available so when finally some guy opens up the drawer and says, “YUM, my favorite!” we will be ready to go. And we’ll be pumped to get out of that drawer and move on…especially since for some of us our expiration dates may be getting close!
Some girls are Snickers, Twixes or M&Ms…candy you can find in pretty much any part of the world and candy that pretty much everyone likes. So of course they get taken out of the drawer quickly. I like to think that all of us older single LDS women that are still left are specialty candies though. Candy that people crave…candy that people miss when they are in foreign countries, candy that can’t be found just anywhere, maybe even candy that is an aquired taste. But, we are somebody’s favorite candy…I am sure. I mean, if no one liked Banana Laffy Taffies wouldn’t they just stop making them? And if there wasn’t someday, in some part of our existance, going to be someone just perfect for us, then wouldn’t God stop making us special, rare, unique women? I like to think so.
2 comments:
Wow, that was really good. I'm going to have to think about that for a while then come back and read it again.
I know I'm not single, so I hope you don't mind me commenting.I love the analogy! You have always been a great writer and have such a funny sense of humor. You seriuosly need to write a book. I just miss you and hope you are doing great. I will be coming to town in Oct, we'll have to meet up. Love ya!
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