Parallels Found on the Road
Just over a year ago I entered a very serious relationship. I have had so much fun since the day I was first introduced. I can say it has been completely blissful pretty much every day since we met. We’ve gone on road trips and created many wonderful adventures and memories together. What has made this relationship so successful over the last year? There are a couple of things that come to my mind immediately. It required a huge level of commitment and knowing what I wanted out of the relationship and not settling for less.
So how did this magic happen? What exactly happened last year? Ok, truthfully, last year I bought my new car. Hey I got your attention didn’t I? Stick with me on this one. Seriously, just trust me and you’ll be convinced that the things I learned that first month are completely applicable to a “real” relationship. I love analogies. Perhaps this one has something to do with how we see and relate to all serious commitments in our lives. Perhaps?
Not more than two weeks after I bought my car I was driving around town pondering (I’m sure the usual things we twenty-somethings ponder) when something happened. I pulled up to a stop light and right next to me pulled up the most attractive shiny, black, sporty hunk of a new car. It still had the temporary tag in the window and all. “Oh.” I dreamily thought to myself. “What kind of car is that?!” I could feel my heart slightly race inside as I eyed its shinny rims. “It’s super sexy! I wonder if I would have liked that one bet. . .” I caught myself mid-sentence, no mid-word! What in the world was I thinking? I was in the car that I wanted. I was in a seriously committed relationship with the car I chose just two weeks ago.
Truthfully, I had wanted to purchase my car for more than two years before that wonderful day last July. I had thought about it and done my research. I discovered all the things that I knew were important to me. I knew what my “deal breakers” were, what I needed and what I wanted. I was truly and completely confident in what I was looking for. I knew the difference between finding the “perfect car” and the “perfect car for me”. Honestly, my ideal car with all of my ideal features doesn’t currently exist anywhere on planet earth. Trust me, I checked. Twice.
So what was this research I did? What does that mean? Well, let me give you a few examples. I knew in addition to the make and model that it needed to be a 2006 or newer and I absolutely had to have the following features: sunroof; power doors, steering, mirrors and locks; AC; keyless entry; remote control on the steering wheel; iPod jack; CD player; cruise control; 4-door; automatic; 4 cylinder engine; alloy wheels and any color but gold or atomic blue (serious DEAL BREAKER for me!).
You might think it odd that I feel I had to have some of those things. I don’t care if you think that. That’s fine. Because to me, if I was going to make this huge purchase, I was going to make sure what I was buying was what I wanted. Now, to some of you I’m sure there are different items that fall into your “must have” category when searching for a car. For example, some people want leather seats or a navigation system. Others strongly prefer manual transmission or a V-6 engine. Some require personal thermostat controls, a Bluetooth system and a garage door opener. You get the point. The list can go on and on. . .
That’s the beauty of it, each of us can personally find out what we want and what we individually feel are deal breakers. You have to know. You can’t depend on other people to make the decision for you. I had several pushy salesmen try to convince me that the two-door model that reeked of smoke was doable or the manual transmission wouldn’t really bug me when I’m stuck in traffic. Somehow multiple salesmen tried to convince me that the LX model was totally ok because it was the right year, etc even though it didn’t have the features that I found to be important to me. I took friends with me a few times as backup. I made sure they knew what I wanted so I wouldn’t lose sight of my goal. I didn’t want to be swayed willy-nilly by anyone. Interestingly enough, the day I bought my car I went by myself and did it completely on my own.
So, that afternoon, “mid-word” I was reminded from the logical part of my brain –it occasionally speaks up – that I had made a commitment. (In my logical part of my brain buying a new car is a fairly significant commitment. It’s much more serious than new shoes, furniture or electronics. It is c-o-m-m-i-t-m-e-n-t!) I had been absolutely certain of my decision when I test drove the car and signed the papers. I had thought that maybe it was too good to be true. I knew I had made the right choice. My car was a color I wanted; it had all the features I wanted; and it had incredible mileage and a fantastic price. Huge points that could have been deal breakers but instead made the deal happen. I was sold. My research and patience had paid off. I finally found it!
And something else quite wonderful has happened on various occasions since that time. There are other features I’ve discovered that my car has that are so coolthat I didn’t even know about. There are all of these “little bonuses” that I continually find. For example, when I slow down the radios volume turns down on its own! Love that one. I have a friend that her car does that too but I had no idea mine would as well. I was so excited when I discovered that feature further down the road (no pun intended). There are many other practical benefits that I’ve discovered along the way over the last year.
So, what it comes down to are a few simple things. We each need to know what we want, what is crucially important. It might not be the same things that your best friend finds essential but that’s ok. Your best friend isn’t the one that will be in your relationship with your car, you are. If you’ve come to learn that you cannot function after you commute to work without AC then you know that’s something important to you. Focus on the things you can control. Remember that you do the choosing. It’s YOUR choice. Do your research and be patient. And after you’ve made a decision, don’t be easily swayed. Stand your ground. Eventually you’ll find that dream car, possibly in the last place you thought you would, like Layton, Utah. Blissfully happy is possible but you have to help make it happen.
